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Day 10: Weighing the Significance


My mood matched the weather.

Rainy mornings mean added traffic in the Washington area making our normal 55-70 minute drive closer to 90 minutes this Monday morning.

Slipping back into the routine after a radiation-free weekend, Eddie and I arrived around 8 am. Since it’s a Monday, I normally have appointment with my radiation oncologist Dr. Klienberg, following the treatment, but that appointment was moved to Thursday.

I was lost in thought coming back from the radiation studio when Eddie asked how I was feeling. I’m asked that a lot these days and this morning I couldn’t help but find the question sadly annoying.

The reality of these treatments felt more significant when Eddie and I are here together. It was as much about the radiation treatments as it is about all that we’ve gone through these last three years.  From lining up schedules, coordinating for coverage with the twins, keeping the house in order, staying in touch with friends, and attempting to balance our work loads in addition to maintaining our own relationship, this morning it just felt like a lot.  At that moment, and throughout the treatment, I could’t focus on anything other then what I needed to accomplish. What was necessary at home and at work. I felt tired. I was unable to relax my mind.

So how was I feeling? ‘Fine. I have a headache. Otherwise fine.’


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